my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
