I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
