My first STD was from a foam party
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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