Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?