I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.