i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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