I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
