Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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