I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize