her vagine was all disorganized.
false alarm. still invincible.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
