just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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