This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
