She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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