I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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