When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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