24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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