What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize