Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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