I love having hate sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
