areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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