everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
