You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
