please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
