i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
