Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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