R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize