If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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