I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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