YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
