I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
