Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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