$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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