super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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