I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
