69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
