you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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