Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
