He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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