Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
