Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
