One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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