Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
