Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
