We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
