So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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