You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
