i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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