Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
