and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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