Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
