I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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