Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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