Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
