Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
