But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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