i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
