we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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