walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
