oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
