You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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