And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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