I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
