I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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