I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
